I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
