Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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