Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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