I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
