I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
