Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
