Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I supernannyed him into submission
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize