I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
