There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Randomize
