so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
We are all done wearing pants today
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
