White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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