today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
