I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
In America we eat man semen.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
