So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
