That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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