he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
