something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
It's rum buckets o'clock
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
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