You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
