mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
