Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
