In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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