I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
