i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
