we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
