No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
