I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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