can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
