the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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