ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
