i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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