eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
where are you?
Hypothermia
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
