Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Enjoy the penises
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
