just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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