Barsexuality is the new black.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
