he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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