he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
