yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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