remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
