don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
