Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
