Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
