Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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