whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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