how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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