Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Someone shattered a urinal.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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