omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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