I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize