Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
