just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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