i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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