I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
foreskin is a definite game changer
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize