I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
