what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
