i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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