So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
