Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
