i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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