Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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