I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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