So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
