I bet he comes in French.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
try to milk me bitch
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
