Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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