His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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