the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
