I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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